Stress and Strain in MarriageResolving conflictAround 95% of the respondents indicated that when they argue with their partners they “typically work things out.” When asked if people felt “helpless in dealing with problems that come up” in their relationships 86% of the respondents disagreed. Although it was impossible to determine exactly how their arguments were “worked” out, these findings appear to be positive in regard to relationship health. But this good news may obscure a deeper challenge. There was a significant difference between the scores of women and men on this question. Women were more likely than men to report feeling “helpless in dealing with” relationship problems. This may be a reflection of women having a more relational outlook on life, being more sensitive to relationship problems, and/or being more willing to seek out help and support. The stereotype about men may be true, in this case. They are reluctant to admit they are lost and resist asking for help. Men may also be less aware of unresolved problems and thus less likely to want assistance, when they could benefit from it. In regard to reaching out to support or strengthen a committed relationship, men may need some encouragement..Realistic expectationsRespondents were also asked if they were “willing to accept disappointments in order to keep” their “relationship together.” Older males, as a group, were more willing to accept disappointments than other groups. While 64% of Hispanic respondents agreed with this statement 85% of the non-Hispanic respondents agreed with this. Many couples will encounter some disappointment during the course of their relationship. An unwillingness to accept disappointment may indicate a greater risk of divorce among younger individuals and individuals who identify themselves as Hispanic. Those who serve Texas families may want to consider tailoring their efforts and programs to talk about realistic expectations, disappointments, and the important role communicating effectively about dissatisfaction can play in a healthy relationship.Harris, S.M., Glenn, N.D, Rappleyea, D.L., Diaz-Loving, R., Hawkins, A.J., Daire, A. P., Osborne, C., & Huston, T.L. (2008). Twogether in Texas: Baseline Report on Marriage in the Lone Star State. Austin, TX: Health and Human Services Commission. |